For the last few weeks, I’ve been telling everyone I know (and some I don’t) about my bunion. Friends, coworkers, potential sexual partners…I even listed it on my 2019 accomplishments.
“Bunion” has to be one of the most disgusting words in the english language, so I was doing my part to normalize it. To raise awareness on behalf of my bunion brethren.
“I am bunion. Hear me roar.”
But I recently got some news that turned my world on its head. And now, I feel compelled to issue a correction. To call everyone I’ve come in contact with and let them know I’ve gotten some news:
It’s not a bunion.
It is Hallux limitus.
My right big toe has been “traumatized” beyond the point of repair. So it no longer moves.
The irony is that I do everything to protect my feet. After nearly losing my right index toe (an unrelated toe trauma) back in 1999, I never go barefoot. I do NOT get pedicures. I buy new running shoes regularly and I flat out refuse to sleep with anyone whose feet may brush mine in the night.
I take my foot protection very seriously. And yet, here I am, doomed to walk on a stale baguette for all eternity.
Am I in pain? Yes.
Will I need surgery? It’s likely.
Will I ever stop talking about this? Absolutely not.
Thank you for listening.
Good night, and God bless.